Sometimes life just gets to be too much. Sometimes all the noise makes you feel like you are drowning and no one can hear your cries for help. I was anticipating this season of my life. The first year of homeschooling, piloting a new extended day program at work, taking 12 credits in college, being a wife/mother/friend…I was bound to feel overwhelmed at some point. A few weeks ago I reached that point. With the added stress and emotion of some health issues that I have been dealing with this year, I finally broke. After my class left on a Friday I sent my husband this message: “You were right. Being home was my thing and I was good at it. I want to be home again.” Tears flooded my face and I couldn’t even see. In that moment I wanted to be “just” a stay at home mom again. When I came home that day my husband greeted me with support and suggested that maybe I’d just had a really long week. Looking back, he was right in a sense. I had actually had a really long month. Living in this frozen tundra we call Minnesota I am often missing something that I love so dearly: the sun. In the summer when I get overwhelmed I can often sit on the patio with my face directed straight up toward a beautiful yellow ball in the sky. I can sit in silence for a few moments and bask in the warmth while giving my worries to God. I can easily be refreshed. Winter doesn’t seem to allow for that and for some reason when I am not able to feel the warm sunshine on my face I forget that I can still sit in silence for a few moments and have a conversation with God.
I am so blessed that this Friday filled with tears was the Friday before the Tuesday that I would head to California with my husband and a couple of friends. I needed a break, a change of scenery…a chance to miss my life. California was actually experiencing above average temps while we were there and that beautiful yellow ball in the sky visited me every. single. day. I wore t-shirts and skirts and flip flops and I was in love. On Saturday morning we got up and embarked on an adventure that carried us over 2,000 feet in the sky (closer to that yellow ball that I love). I experienced my first hot air balloon ride directly over Napa Valley. It was gorgeous. Breathtaking really. Almost like the world was silenced just for me. God knew just what I needed and man did he deliver in a BIG way! I had time to reflect about my priorities and remember why I am doing the things that I am doing. I had time to think about homeschooling and all the reasons why we started on that journey, I had time to think about why I love my job and why I want to turn it into a career, I had time to be wrapped in my husband’s arms and held close to his heart, I had time to be still and take in the beauty of creation. I came home refreshed and fully in love with my life and all the chaos that comes with it. It is so important to escape sometimes, to reset and feel renewed. My escape to the sun was perfect.